If happiness truly is a journey and not a destination, then I’m all set. I really should be an expert by now, seeing as how I seem to know the roads so well; I should know by now that there are valleys and detours – dead-ends, roundabouts and stop signs. So many stops.


I don’t have anything particularly useful to say tonight, I just needed to say something. I really just needed to remind myself that I’m still here, and I’m OK. I’ve been searching for someone to tell me that for 3 months and I guess tonight it just really hit me: I’m OK.

It seems like everything has been falling apart since we moved here. I kept waiting for a breather; kept waiting for that sliver of light in the darkness that would enable me to come here and write about how AMAZING everything was. Then I realized that things were not amazing; they were in fact, depressing… and difficult… and wrong – so I chose not to write anything at all.

That was a mistake.

I’ve got some backtracking and some catching up to do… and I will.

But just for tonight, let’s remember that we’re all OK.

Have heart. If you see someone that looks like they need a hug, do not hesitate to offer one. If you see me, you don’t even have to ask… I’ll take one.

Piecing it back together with love and patience, and hoping that you’re doing the same, if need be-

If you’re basking in the warmth and beauty of peace & joy, make sure you take a second to pass it along to those you come across who may need a little light on their path-

As always, with love-

“Perhaps some day I’ll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.” ~Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

5 thoughts on “Happy Tuesday: “In Spite Of” Edition

  1. hi love. ya know how I had said when we moved to Albany that we were able to accomplish so many things in a really short time? (good jobs, buying a house.) I wanted to tell you that, although I knew moving here was the right thing to do, it was a really isolating, painful, and depressing adjustment. I had never felt homesick before. We move in with family in an extension of the house, above the garage, where cold winter air blew up through the floor cracks. We lived there from August thru January before getting our own apartment and onto our own feet. I didn’t know how to get anywhere, I didn’t have a job for a couple months and my husband was gone long hours for his retail job at the time and I was soooo so lonely. My daughter became so dependent and attached to just me and it was just a strange time. I thought, without so many conveniences, comforts we are used to, including a couch of your own and privacy, or heat…I was forced to FEEL. Modern technologies and modern life offers so many distractions — conveniences that hinder our natural being, what we would choose to spend our time doing. I started walking more, letting the weather and changing seasons mean and lead more. Times to stay warm, times to cuddle, times to rest…mother nature has waxing and waning moods like we do. The whole point is, when I look back it was the right decision that meant huge accomplishments, but it was SUCH a painful painful process, even though I knew it was right. Sometimes life tears you down to test you. To test what’s in your heart and to reveal what you need in life and what you don’t…what matters in your day and what is a distraction…and to self-discover. You’re going to be okay. You are okay. You have always been okay. And you’re more than okay. You are amazing.

  2. uh oh … what’s going on? wanna get together and i can give you many many hugs?… when are you at the hospital for work? i could come there and meet you… what do you need?
    thinking about you (both) with love and love and more love….

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