When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through…
First full week of Rebif injections over and done. It’s been a smoother ride than when I was on for Copaxone for a few months back in 2010. My worst injection came Tuesday night when I used the auto-injector, instead of doing a manual shot; that injection site was bloody and bruised immediately. No more auto-injector.
The past seven days have been pretty grueling. Sunday was the bottom and I climbed up from there. There are so many things going on in my family, I can’t help but just shake my head and wonder if this is all really happening. I’ve adapted myself over the past couple of years to truly “live in the moment,” so I usually do a decent job coping with varied crises. One moment at a time; one crossroad at a time, one day at a time. I’ve also done a pretty good job at staying out of the darker corners of my mind, and of the Universe. I’ve written about this before: there is so much to learn in the dark – clarification can be found there, as well a deeper appreciation for the light. I find it a worthwhile place to travel to – but a mighty dangerous place to stay. I am really proud of the way I’ve handled the darkness lately.
I had a truly remarkable experience on Wednesday… a real awakening. Perhaps more of a REawakening – a remembrance of things I once knew. This experience is for a different post on another day, but it really helped ground me into this life I’m living now, and it brought about an opportunity to think about this:
What are we getting up every day for? What are we moving towards? Emotionally and physically… where are we striving to go? As anyone who has dealt with a major illness (or a temporary disability) can tell you, sometimes we spend all our energy getting back to a place of basic freedom, movement and ability. I recently found a way to simply remember a time when I could not walk by my own power, without reclaiming it, or fearing the possibility of a return to that time. That’s important. We should all yearn to remember without reclaiming. That was then; this is now. What did you learn; what can you do today to respect that part of you that wants to just – get – moving. Physically, emotionally, spiritually … let’s keep moving along, with respect for the past and enthusiasm for the future… and let’s always pray for the energy to appreciate the time we are given for today.
In that spirit, I want to offer my thanks to the Universe for allowing me to spend two hours of my day today hiking Buttermilk Falls – down steep steps and up a grueling trail. It was a stunning view … I was grateful for the ability to see it. My legs are bruised and marred from injections, they are not as tone as I want them to be and my cardiovascular fitness leaves so much to be desired; nonetheless, I am using this body to carry me forward, and I am using this spirit to move along – and THAT is divine.
I hope you find the strength to move along, too –